have been married for 37 years and am the mother of two adult sons, one of whom is gay. As our straight son, his future bride, my husband and I plan for his wedding; I have become increasingly saddened and angry that this country and state in which I live has decided that my gay son should not be afforded the same marriage rights and privileges as his brother. Both of our sons have been in their monogamous relationships for over six years and both have made commitments to their partners, but only one of our sons will be able to have full acceptance and acknowledgement in our present culture. 

I have also been a school social worker for almost thirty years, and I know of gay and lesbian parents who, out of fear of rejection, are afraid to let their school community know of their significant other. Their children suffer as well, since they either do not talk about their other parent or are afraid or embarrassed to speak of them in school. Additionally, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students and school staff, who are already at risk emotionally and physically because of our society’s anti-LGBT bias, experience another rejection when the state and country say they can not look forward to marrying the one they love.

I am also the co-chair of the Hudson Valley chapter of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) and am a member of their national board of directors. Our education organization is dedicated to creating schools safe for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. When our students and staff do not feel the support and protection of their country and state around the issue of marriage equality, that further delays the necessary progress schools need to make to ensure school safety for everyone.

I know there are some people who have the perception that gay marriages will "erode" or "threaten" heterosexual marriages. I have no idea what that fear is about. How can allowing committed relationships to be affirmed through the rite of marriage weaken other people’s rights or relationships? It’s beyond reason and a ridiculous argument. I can say unequivocally that our marriage will be unaffected in any way if there would be marriage equality for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

We need to do what’s right and allow LGBT people the same rights as we heterosexuals have always had – not similar rights, same rights!! We need marriage equality and we need it now.